Looking for help with WAW

[mza8]

Gr8, I think that would have been the fair thing to do by my W to keep me on until/if we D. At least until I have my own health insurance...which should be soon anyway. I even told her that I wasn't asking to remain on her policy for a long time, just a few months. The cost to have me on her policy is deducted from her paycheck. I want to pay for my half, no problem. I really have no idea why she is so bent on taking me off. You would think after being with someone for so long you would at least care enough about them to make sure they have health insurance until they can get their owm. Since I offered to pay for my half, I'm not sure what the problem is here. Maybe she wants to detach, who knows? She has us both mind reading.

I absolutely agree with you that if she should then pay her half of the things I pay for. When it's something she wants lately, she has a reason for it (in her mind) why it's a good idea. When it's something I want she gives me 20 reasons why I'm not making sense. She was never like this before, we would always discuss the issue and she (and I) would use good common sense to make a decision.

She kept telling me last night how she wanted to sell the house 6 months ago and I didn't. Well, I was trying to get a job to afford to stay in the house and she also left so it was a lot to deal with at the time. Not making excuses, just trying to keep things in perspective. Part of me thinks the big test with her right now is to see if I really agree to sell the house and sign with the realtor. I think this is what she is waiting to see before her and I can make any progress. I know I'm trying to read her mind with this but she seems like everything we talk about now is selling this house.


I don't want to sell it. I'm taking steps to try to be able to afford to keep it. I might even be movng back in there soon...just me. That's not going to make her happy at all. But what do you do in this situation? Agree to sell just to make her happy not knowing if selling or keeping it would make any difference in her wanting to work on our M? It's not like I can go to her and ask her if I agree to sell the house, would she want to work on M? So not being able to be that direct with her this puts me in a difficult situation.

I remember talking to her father early on after she left. He said that the house was a huge issue for my W. He said that I needed to sell the house asap. This is what my W wanted. He said if I wanted to make matters better with W then I needed to do this. I know she wants to sell. I know it would relax her. If I knew selling it would make a huge difference is saving this M, then yes, I would probably do it. However, not knowing if it would make a difference or not makes me feel that I don't want to lose a house that I am working hard to afford to keep. I've been trying to give myself time to put a lot of thought into this decision. I'm still not sure what to do.

I hear you, Gr8, about feeling the same way I do about being along for the ride. Talk about the tables being turned, I was the one in my M to take the lead with most everything. Now I feel that I have little to no say in any matters. Walking on eggshells to save the M. Just venting a bit. I want to make this work, I know it will take a lot of work, I know it won't be easy and I know it will take time. I am getting better with these changes and I'm happy that my W acknowledged this last night. Have a long way to go in this process. You know at this point I feel like I have a pretty handle on what I need to do on my end. I am so ready to get to the next step and talk with my W about what we both can do together to improve things. I'm ready to have open and honest discussions with her about any and all issues. let's get it out in the open and discuss it. I would like to get to this stage at some point.

Sorry for the long posts today. Just have a lot on my mind and trying to make the right decisions. By the way, I did call the health insurance company today and they said they still show me on the policy. I guess I'll find out tomorrow. They did say that I could be added back at any time. Different story than what W told me that she couldn't add me back until the next opt in period. I'll wait and she what happens tomorrow and then contact her if she does take me off and give her this info. Then if she still wants to drop me from her policy she'll have to come up with another excuse. Boy, the game playing gets old. Funny how adults can act like children on such matters.