flowmom | need to commit to myself

[ImprovedRomeo]

Your H has so many demons to conquer. His own issues along with being "that guy".. the one who left his wife and children. Unless he makes some major changes that will always be a part of him and that is not your burden to carry.

CG, do they really feel the guilt? I'm not sure they do. They compartmentalize it all and believe that what they're doing is for everyone's benefit. My WAS believes that it's better for our DD...she's convinced of it. She doesn't acknowledge DD's sadness or crying when we're exchanging her. She always has a straight face as if she were saying 'she'll get used to it...'.

He literally will not hear you if you try to "clear the air" because he's brainwashed himself into another reality. I'd suggest, if you want to "speak" your truth, write it all down, and put away the paper.

I agree...this is what I did last time, I cleared the air over and over weeks after weeks, tried to make her see it my way, from DD's perspective and she wasn't hearing any of it. However, I think somwhere deep inside some of it must have sunk in at a
later stage...I would hope.