Reply to her "I'm really sorry you feel that way. I love and respect you -- and your entire family -- and this is extremely difficult for me. I'm doing what I feel I need to do to protect myself and to fight for my marriage. I would ask that you support me in that effort, but if you feel you can't, I understand, and this will be the only response you'll get from me on the subject. Love, Formerly"
And then don't respond to her anymore. You don't need to continually defend yourself to her family.
Someone is having a denial crisis. Poor woman. I feel bad for her.
you planted the seed of doubt in her mind, she read something that will now be in her mind for a very long time. He (OM) may lie to her (OM's W) and tell her it's bs, but just remember, the thought will linger, it has to, it has no other place to go, a tiny amount of doubt will grow, give it time, you didn't expect it to be instantaneous, that wouldn't be realistic. And since people are apparently "watching" them, he will cool his actions a bit and not contact your wife as much because his wife will start asking to check the phone, will start checking his email, start looking for traces of evidence at her end to confirm what you have sent her. While he limits contact with your W, she will get angry because he isn't doing what he promised he would be doing, giving up his W to be with her, and now your wife will have doubts about the OM, he's lying to her now, he's not going to give up his W to be with your W, don't discount the trickle effect that's going on now, just allow it time to do it's job and it will do it's job ;-)
Reply to her "I'm really sorry you feel that way. I love and respect you -- and your entire family -- and this is extremely difficult for me. I'm doing what I feel I need to do to protect myself and to fight for my marriage. I would ask that you support me in that effort, but if you feel you can't, I understand, and this will be the only response you'll get from me on the subject. Love, Formerly"
And then don't respond to her anymore. You don't need to continually defend yourself to her family.
Puppy
Yup. Your wife's sister needs to butt out, if she can't understand that you have found out why your wife asked for separation and if she can only see things your wife's way which unfortunately will probably be the case, end the contact with that message and continue doing whatever you need to do, don't let your wife's sister impede your actions.
Sounds like it got back to your wife from the OM and then from your wife to the sister......
This is good....
Funny though that her sister told you it was between you and your wife and now she is butting in. I wonder if she told her sister that it was between you and your wife too?
Obviously this has effected the relationship between your wife and the OM or there would be no reason for you to back off would there? If it was going so well your wife and the OM should now be happy because they can now have each other ..
Telling you to back off means that things are no so great in loverville. The OM must be backing off from your wife and she is confiding in her sister that it is your fault... Hang tough.
Sounds like things are proceeding just perfectly the way it should here.