I guess I am confused. If you now understand these things in a very clear fashion and they really are for YOU and YOU only then what is the point of clearing the air with your H?
The learning and growing you are doing is for you. If you are starting to really feel it, then GREAT!
It is a very hard pill to swallow when you realize any exchange you have with a WAS is superficial. But that is how HE wanted it and made it very clear by leaving you. If he wants to know or share something that is up to him.
If he asks who you are going snowshoeing with why can't you just say a group of friends or something?
All WAS want to be viewed as the "good guy". To this day I still hear from my H that he is a "good guy" and everybody thinks so. Well, great!
Your H has so many demons to conquer. His own issues along with being "that guy".. the one who left his wife and children. Unless he makes some major changes that will always be a part of him and that is not your burden to carry.
As you said on several other threads... the LBS should not be providing any emotional support to the WAS who is staunch in their stance and heading down the D path.
It is really great you are realizing your role. That is all we can hope for, to learn and grow and not repeat the same mistakes.
