F, I have been following along but not posting. You have done an amazing job.
I feel I need to chime in with what Puppy is telling you from the perspective of someone who just busted an A this past fall and is in the process of the very painful and difficult road to healing the M.
^^^^ Please heed what Puppy is saying to you.
It is tempting to fall into a compassion trap for our WAS because we love them and want them back so badly.
But, you need to stay strong and stand your ground right now. There will be a time for compassion later, when you are stronger and more able to maintain the boundaries that are being formed right now.
Too much compassion right now can lead to getting suckered in to emotional manipulation on her part. She is completely motivated by selfishness right now. She is not the W you have known and loved all these years.
Box that compassion up, put it aside for later.
Now is the time for strength and a firm, unwavering stand.
