Jak, It was my dance teacher who said that I needed more presence when I lead. I was leading her in the Hustle where I have little confidence or experience. However, you are correct in that it is my responsiblity to manage my own anxiety, and that I will need to do something to move us forward.
I made a date with my W to practice our Hustle routine and some ballroom steps last night, intermingled with watching Dancing With the Stars. We were up to 12AM. I'm sleepy at work today, but it's worth it.
I was willing to accept her feedback regarding ballroom dancing. She wants what the instructor was discussing in her last lesson--tone. Tone is what separates casual versus the better dancers. It's a consistent awareness and intention of one's body throughout the dance. My W thinks I need to be more consistent in this area--she's right. At the jazz venue over the weekend, I got rattled because it was an unfamiliar venue to me, so let my skills deteriorate, which frustrated my W.
She thinks I'm doing wonderfully with the Hustle. There are no complaints in this area.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
Sorry Cl, that I must have read that wrong. Yes it is our responsibility to manage our anxiety. have a good day despite your being tired. Happy dancing
JAK
Last edited by JoJo's circus; 03/31/1007:20 PM.
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
She told me that her feelings were hurt on Saturday night, and that I was mean to her. She doesn't factor in how her actions affect others. I refrained from apologizing, because I didn't say anything mean to her, though I was irritated with her criticism.
Great work CL...
This is YOU in control. I have the same problem of either “wimping out” or apologizing when I know I did nothing wrong or lashing out when I take my W “criticism” personally. Yes we do need to man up when we do things wrong but only then. Only when we do /did something wrong. This is not a baby. This is a major improvement in CL….
Also I like the way you handled
“She complains that I go ballroom dancing weekly, and practice with a crowd that is probably 2/3 casual social dancers.” You invited HER to practice with you. What you did here was really clever. You turned her complaint around and put it back in her court. Now if you spend weekly practice without her it’s her own fault…..
Keep it up buddy I am learning from you...
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Doc, My W has stepped it up with the ballroom dancing. It's Student Appreciation Week at the dance studio. My W has gone to a lesson every night this week (I've accompanied her also). She went to a Waltz class last night, stating that she's determined to learn that D--- Waltz. I'm keeping up with her with the Hustle Formation. The group placement has been changed so that we are now in the first or second row. We'll see if she makes it to class tonight. This studio has great potential for us, as far as skill building, performance opportunities, and social connection.
I drove she and her mother to her nephew's Eagle Scout ceremony. I haven't visited this family in probably two years, due to the distance in the M. I took the camera and took some nice photos of my W and her family.
I'm starting to feel closer to my W again, thinking that intimacy might be possible. The ice is melting.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
Sounds like things are moving right along. Why do things like love and marriage have to be so complicated? I am glad you took wife to see her nephew's Eagle Scout ceremony. I for a while stopped going to my W nephew's b-parties a while back but have started going again as a way to reconnect. I am also glad you are starting to feel closer to your W again. When all this c$ap started out everyone tells us to "give them space" and "Get a life" and in the process sometimes we have given them so much space and have gotten so much of a life of our own that we start to lose what we were fighting for. Take care buddy Doc
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
