help some advice plse..have i finished it for good

[JacT]

Saffie thanks so much.Bond made me think last night and hes right I lived with it but didnt accept it.I tried. Latterly, when he started to look at full make up, I realised at that point, that I wanted to help him and was moving into acceptance.Dealing with the CD was much better than the pain of losing him but here I am.

It was too late he already started the A. I really dont believe that the OW knows what she is living with and I think if he was a lady boy she would still have gone for him..a pretty desperate woman chasing a no of men and bargaining on getting one of them.I have heard she is drinking heavily probably not really coping with the whole cding.Its all guess work though. I was the main breadwinner and we have been very comfortable.When she gave my dad a lift, she asked where we stayed and drove in(dad still in car) to have a look at the house! I am sure she thought H was onto a packet if he D me but he didnt want to take anything.
She's back at gym and certainly not working out.In there from 9-3 every day!

I think I have lost him.If she is prepared to do what it takes to keep him then I think he will be reluctant not to take the chance, come back to me and lose her and not have anyone..he is terrified of being on his own.

I think I need to concentrate on GALING and if he decides to reconnect and shows a desire to come home then, I need to start working hard to show I can accept it. He needs to get her out of his system.
I am still not sure if he really wants D or h was testing the water to see if I was still in the space of not Ding.

Your point on secrecy is spot on my BIL said same thing, the fact everyone who needs to know in our family knows now so it has taken some of the excitement out of it.

If he doesnt come back, I think I have to let him go and accept he is with someone who can accept him no matter the pain.

I hope the fact he has children who he loves very much might be the catalyst.I think I need to be stronger so if he does want to come back, I can help him.

Trying hard to snow..your poor horses..I am assuming they had to be stabled during the last snow storm?