Thanks for stopping in on my thread. What, you are a great inspiration. I can remember two years ago (almost) the state of mind you were in. You've come a long way, baby!
NSD, my worst moments, too, were remembering the good times we had and trying make sense of it all. Don't worry, it will get better. After my WAS has done all the hurtful things he did to me, it's hard to even feel any remorse anymore. I am beginning to feel like I just want it over with.
Last night, I went to Seder Supper, a large church celebration. Any when I got to my car, there was a voicemail from H, telling me that I need to fill out the census and send it back. (Apparantly, he inadvertantly pulled it out of the mailbox, and then returned it). By the way, that was the first time I've heard from him in over a month. He never calls unless it's to reprimand, or scold or reprove, or warn.
Anyway, I didn't understand all he said, so I called him back, during which I asked if he were planning to file separatly or together. He said separately. Oh well. That's the way it has to be, I guess.
I also asked how much money he made last year, to which he replied. "No, poet, that's all on the financial discloser etc., etc." And he hung up on me.
I started to cry and called him back asking to please tell me, since he already has my financial info. It was painful that he has to be so hateful. And, this time, he didn't answer the phone. So, I left a message. I left on the message to please don't call me anymore. I said every time he contacts me, he's rude and hurtful, and I cry, etc., etc.
My H has always been an "a\@h%@e" to which I've always forgiven. But, my peace of mind has come to be more important than getting a mean person back into my life. Oh well, thanks for listening.
