Jas,

First of all....

You should be proud of you, for having the guts to come to a place such as this and tell your story, risking being bashed at every curve....

It is courage such as that , that tells me that you are willing to look into the mirror, and work toward real change.

A couple questions though....

What do you see in your future as far as you ?

Who do envision when you see your reflection ?

I agree that there needs to be change....just that YOU are the only one who can control your changes.

How do you envision your marriage being in a couple years ?

More of the same old - same old?

What I see is a person that needs to become whole again , and put the past to bed and get a clue as to what YOU want in your life.

A person that needs to be with herself for some time, and face down the demons that haunt you. Free from any outside influence.

There is a common focus here , on this site, to save our relationships...

And while that may happen down the road....It is you that needs a life raft right now....

I read a lot of focus on how HIS actions made you into the person you are today...

Is that coming from anger ?

Is that anger toward him ?

Or is that anger from within that you are projecting toward him ?

These are things that I don't really need the answers to..

You will one day though.....


Keep up taking steps for you....


BTW......

Read through the Archives......

Look for AmyC.....in particular.....