...This is that merry go round my friend steady was talking about. i keep thinking what it will be like when I go home. I have no hope of anything spectacular. I'm actually terrified that she won't even care that I'm home. However, she's said to myself and others that she really wants me out of "This God Forsaken Country". She also wants me to be able to sleep in my bed and be in my house. I once told her my bed is the one where she's next to me, so it isn't my bed. That was some time ago.
She wants me to call her tonight to see how her procedure went. She's always asking about me as well. The mind will wander won't it?
You need to stop thinking stuff like that, you only make your situation worse, you're in a war zone but you are "terrified" about the fact she won't even care when you're home, do you see how this situation is affecting your perception of reality?
You are still to attached to be able to DB effectively, focus on letting go, stop caring so much, just make sure you're healthy and alive and focus on your kids - GET A GRIP!!!
