I'm wondering about DBing. Should I still be trying or is it on hold until this A is busted. We are really distant now and say almost nothing to one another.
I don't believe you CAN effectively DB until the affair is busted. When the cheating spouse's brain is all awash in PEAs, they're going to be almost entirely closed off to you emotionally anyway. You can do the requisite "GAL" stuff, but that's mostly for YOU.
Sorry, but I'm not much of a fan of the "While They Wait"/"Little Bo-Peep" method, as you can tell.
