S03, tbart is right. Don't give in to him. He is trying to control a situation that you apperantly have control of. He is used to you rolling over and now that you aren't he has nothing to grasp onto.
Have you decided what to do with the emails?
Aces
I like all this empty space because i can now type out things that are important.
Like: D7 S2 starting swimming lessons on 3/30
"Readily will I display the intestinal fortidue required to fight on..."
The biggest threat to them is authority. You are the mature one right now. Stand strong. He's going to be throwing his tantrums soon.
He's like the kid in the playground that likes kids to play by his rules. Then if you don't, he says "well I'm not going to be your friend". So call his bluff and don't play his game. This is exactly what's going to happen, he'll hold his breath, stomp around to get your attention, have you "overhear" things, etc. But then after all that is worn out and figures out that you're not playing his games, he'll have no one else to look at to blame but himself.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
ok guys...im starting to second guess just how over this I really am.... H is back in the house and I feel like he is acting funny, like he might feel a little hesitant about this whole thing now, im not sure, but i think so. I also kinda think OW is dying down... again, not sure.
I was SOOOO in a state of mind of moving on and being ok with it, and now I am questioning everything about how i feel now... do i want to try to save my marriage? or am i done????
Me: 25 H:25 M: 2yrs T: 4yrs No Kids Bomb: 11 Feb 10 Newcomers Story
That is only a question you can answer for yourself.
How is he acting funny, key word acting is it genuine?
If you are second guessing how over your sitch you are are you sure you are really in a state of mind that you will be okay with moving on?
Just sit down and think about what you are going to do before you do it. Remember everything he has done so far has been the opposite of what you are used to. He may just be acting funny because you are in control of yourself now. You have something that he doesn't want revealed to his superiors. Protect yourself S03.
Aces...
I like all this empty space because i can now type out things that are important.
Like: D7 S2 starting swimming lessons on 3/30
"Readily will I display the intestinal fortidue required to fight on..."
I agree with wild, only you can answer that question.
You have no idea if he's being genuine or just trying to protect the information you have.
You need to be very cautious with evry thing he does, says, and how he acts.
You need to decide whether or not you can deal with knowing how he's treated you. Just make sure you respect yourself, and don't let yourself be fooled into anything.
Married 18 Me 39 W 37 D 15 D 5 Divorce Filed 8 April 2010 Beginning of Reconcile 8 Sept
well... I think i got my reassurance today that I need to move on. I felt H was acting funny cause after he came back home, last night he just seemed to constantly be in deep thought... always seemed to have something on the tip of his tongue but couldnt quite say it. I caught him staring at me several times when we were sitting watching TV... and he hugged me several times and it felt like it had some emotion. So i did say to him at one point, H if you have something you would like to say, I hope you can say it before Friday afternoon (which is when I have my appt to discuss the paperwork for me leaving) and he just kinda still seemed to not be ready to say whatever he was thinking. I still stayed neutral and indifferent. Then as I laid in bed last night, i started to second guess myself and my feelings.... went to work today, didnt come home at all for lunch or anything (even after he had called me at work and asked if i was) so I came home, sat next to him on the couch...and probed a little bit more to see if he wanted to say something.... he ended up saying that he still feels that divorce is the best option .. he said he does know he will miss me when I leave, and he is realizing how real this is getting, and he is worried that he will feel differently later... but right now, still thinks its the best choice so he can do the things he thinks he needs to do without regret of never having explored that. I mentioned to him that if he has a shadow of a doubt, it would be worth exploring as I really feel that circumstances and distance will hinder reconcilliation of he does feel different after I leave, and he said well if thats the case it will just be something I have to live with. AGHHH!!
I mean, its true... unless he gets to see what its like to do the things he thinks he needs to do, he wont know if its really what he wants and he might always wonder and then this whole thing could happen later down the road... but I honest to God feel like since we dont have kids, we are both young and our marriage is new... and since we will be so far apart, the motives to get back together after such a trying period, just wont happen... so I kinda would like to explore doubt FIRST.. but I cant control him and I guess I gotta go.... I will be ok... I will eventually move on... but man, do I miss my marriage and my actual H... the man that left for Iraq... not the man that came back, but the man that left for there. I feel so dumb sometimes, like im 25 years old, young, attractive, smart, and im sitting here dicking around with this man who turned into an immature little boy here recently... like what am i doing? just get out of here and go find a different mr right... but then i think, you know when I got married I really did do it for forever and I love him SO much, this wasnt a trial run for me.. I had already made a family with this man, and had a life going and lots of plans and lots of hopes and dreams... I wasnt prepared to give that up... and he was AMAZING before this all happened... amazing! This just sucks... it really really sucks.
Me: 25 H:25 M: 2yrs T: 4yrs No Kids Bomb: 11 Feb 10 Newcomers Story
You never know S03, awesome part of being human is that the future is untold. He may just realize what an idiot he was and come back to you willing to try. And maybe you'll take the chance or maybe you will have moved on. There are so many directions to go. I wish I could take my advice as easily as I give it. lol... The difference is I have kids involved. You'll be a better person for this, because you have tried everything. And at least you'll be able to say that you did. not giving up is a true sign of strength.
Take time, you have a little while. Your not D yet. And he may come to realize a lot now that you are gone, and he'll be in the house alone, with out you. You'll have your families support and you can start a new chapter...Keep your head up!
Aces
I like all this empty space because i can now type out things that are important.
Like: D7 S2 starting swimming lessons on 3/30
"Readily will I display the intestinal fortidue required to fight on..."
Look back over the thread you just posted. You mention that he said he would feel sad after "YOU LEAVE". Look at how many times you write about how he feels after "YOU LEAVE". He's making you to be the bad guy as if you are abandoning him.
All WASs demonize the LBS to ease THEIR guilt. They put the blame on the LBS and not take any responsibilities for their own actions.
Your H did that when he threatened you and he's doing that now by mentioning YOU leaving. He makes it sound like MAYBE he'll take you back if HE decides to. Again all this is about control.
Your best bet right now is to start concentrating on you. Start looking your best and stop talking to him about his feelings. Concentrate on you for awhile and you'll see him start turning your way a little once he sees you're not paying attention to him.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
.. he said he does know he will miss me when I leave, and he is realizing how real this is getting, and he is worried that he will feel differently later... but right now, still thinks its the best choice so he can do the things he thinks he needs to do without regret of never having explored that. I mentioned to him that if he has a shadow of a doubt, it would be worth exploring as I really feel that circumstances and distance will hinder reconcilliation of he does feel different after I leave, and he said well if thats the case it will just be something I have to live with. AGHHH!!