Long story short my H has had 4 infidelities in our M in the last 7 years. 3 EA/cell/texting (supposedly) and one pick up a female in a bar (no S, supposedly). I asked him not to come home after last D Day 7 weeks ago. He still has not sought IC. We have agreed to take time to think, not see other people, decide about the M. I have made it clear I won't be in a R with him unless he goes to IC. I'm getting impatient about him going. I'm wondering if anyone here can tell me what an ultimatum should be like if/when I decide to do one. I'm kind of thinking that I've already said my piece, so an ultimatum would just be me going dark and if he asks why then tell him it's b/c he hasn't gone to counseling.
I definitely wouldn't do an ultimatium unless I truly mean it. I thought the "dark" time I mentioned above might give me time to be sure about it.
Thoughts and advice appreciated. Thanks in advance.
M--14 years T--20 years, HS sweethearts dday #1--2002 EA dday #2--2005 bar sl*t dday #3/4--Feb 2010 texting/cell/physical/who knows what Shortly after found out he had been injecting steroids for 2 years
