And I want to make another separate, important point.. in that I do understand as a fellow piecer..
You KNEW he had an A, the extent of it and you had a choice and yet you DID take him back..so whats the point in continually beating him over the head with what he did back then? What his family, friends did? If you cant accept it, then yes, its over. If you dont want it to end, you need to let it go.
You explained here that you cant stand that someone knows more about H than you do, you want to know EVERYTHING so you can heal the gap in your R and your exclusive connection.. and I know exactly what you mean, I said the same thing to bf when we talked. He also, would not answer all my questions and NEVER volunteered new information (like you feel H should have voluntary told you about SIL and Christina).
Jody told me early on, I had lost the right to an exclusive connection with bf.
I came to learn that needing to fill in all the gaps and know all the details, to recreate our exclusive connection was NOT possible. It wasnt going to happen. I had to accept that we had 18 months apart, I didnt know where he lived, what he did, how he felt, why he started an R with Helen (he cannot explain), how happy he was in the beginning with her, how it felt to be inside her, what loving embraces they shared afterwards..I can never know. I wasnt there. And he wasnt going to describe it all to me.
It happened and he cant change that but its done and I had to make a choice, to either.. accept that and be thankful the universe sent him back to me, or give him up and move on to pastures new. I chose to accept it and let go of what I thought I needed. I understand that I had more help from bf in building an new R together in the present - he was very loving, but then I was "all over him" in the early days, really showed HIM alot of love Maria (excited, flirty, like a teenager in love, kissing him awake, initiating ML etc).
You could always let go of the fight and just..be happy and love him ???? If it is over, then of course you have my support...
