Hey Karen - an easy way to find me, without me giving out my name here (which I'm assuming is against the rules) - I'm on GIMA's friend list - you can probably figure it from there The Dragon movie was pretty good - I enjoyed it - first new 3D movie I've seen. The boys liked it too, but informed me that it was a lot different from the book.
And yes, I recognize in myself traits from my father too, some of which have contributed to this situation.
Well, I've moved back into the house. It's not the happy event that I was kind of anticipating - being back home. Well, first of all - W took more than we had discussed, which, without getting into all the whiny details, really made me angry and I let her know it. Well, she did bring my stereo back.
It just hit me all over again, she's gone. I guess, walking into the bedroom and ALL the furniture was gone - it didn't really feel like coming home. And I realized that probably feeling like coming home, in the back of my mind, included that feeling of home that W made. Anyway, my bed looks puny in the master bedroom, on that metal frame, kind of reminding me that, time to rebuild. It's not the stuff; it's the history, the life, the stuff that we chose together. So. I guess it's not that she took it all, it's that reality strikes again. When I go about replacing it - what does that look like? Me furnishing a home on my own? Style, decor... I'm not really sure.
Funny, she at one point said, you can have the bed if you want it - I ran smack into those posts so many times in the middle of the night and broke them off, had to fix them, patch them back together - in the end I'm not sure I care about the actual BED. (Don't buy a 4-post bed made out of pine, BTW).
Dust bunnies all over the place too. I guess that happens when you move stuff out. But it's not like she was keeping this place up that well.
Anyway, so I'm off work, with my kids spring break. Some break - yesterday I moved, today we went shoppping for a new television. Cause, you know, W took that too. And she set up appointments for the boys that I need to take them to tomorrow. Yea. I did take them on a hike by a local river on Sunday, they got into the water too - they really seemed to enjoy it.
Anyway. None of this is new. It just hits me over the head again. She's gone, it's over. I'm moving on to my life as a single parent.
I talked to the boys about, we've got to put the house back together and make a home.
I keep finding cards and other little loving notes she wrote to me over the years, tucked away in a nightstand or dresser. Just makes the whole experience seem unreal. It really wasn't that long ago that things were good. I think about the way that she filed away all the dumb manuals to our appliances in the filing cabinent, the stuff like that she did, dumb stuff, little things, that won't be a part of my life anymore. The little decorations she put out, pictures she put up.
Well, I could go on, but you get the idea. Don't want to go on whining. Yea, I'm back home. It's good. It really, really is.
The Dragon movie was pretty good - I enjoyed it - first new 3D movie I've seen. The boys liked it too, but informed me that it was a lot different from the book. 