WAW/MLC/Runner

[Jasmine]

Crushed:

Thank you for your honesty. If you still have what you typed up to slam me, feel free. I will do my best to be as informative and helpful as best I can. This is very vivid and fresh in my mind. You can even pm me.

My best advice is what DB and DR is telling you, don't beg and plead. The sooner you can go dark the better. To show that you and the kids have moved on, the better.

journaling:
I truly believe my sit is different than the stereotype. I cannot recall when but at some point, several years ago, I believe my H started his MLC and his OW was his road bike and mountain bike. He decided to better himself and not involve me. As he was getting fitter and fitter I was just existing. I would still surf, kitesurf, mtn bike, hike and camp with him, just not at the TOP level as him. He wasn't happy that I was doing things to the best that he thought I should have been doing. He wasn't happy that I was just out there doing things.

As I went along on him being my athletic coach, I would get hurt. I broke the glassed in fin off in the back of my upper thigh. Trip to emergency room

I crashed HARD mountain biking and had a nice chunk taken out of my calf. Again, a trip to the emergency room.

Kite Surfing....pretty dangerous sport at the time...I was scared and all I heard was, "more time on the water the better you get."

Road Biking...I didn't feel safe out on the road. I didn't have the skills.

Vicious cycle. For me to the be the ULTIMATE wife, I needed to be his ULTIMATE buddy. I did these sports, some because I LOVED the sport, some because I LOVE him. When I got injured, It took me a while to regain my confidence and I was turning to food to "comfort" me.

Through out the years, I just ate and ate to keep myself not being able to participate. Then, I had my ass ridden because I couldn't participate and now I needed to wear a heart rate monitor and we would download my workouts weekly and he would evaluate me. I tried my best to participate and couldn't. The last 3 years I had heard him utter the ugly words, "if you don't like it, you can leave." UGH...Bu bye....

I helped build OUR business with sacrifices of no car and riding the bus to work our first couple of years together. I even agreed to move into an apartment above his parents house to save money to get our own place. We were married for 16 years and lived there for 13. The money we "supposedly" were to save went to traveling and expensive toys. I am taking responsibility for not standing up and saying this isn't right but he was bringing in most of the money and I felt that was how it was.

I am taking responsibility for so much in this. I wish he would do the same. He couldn't explain to me why he would say "if you don't like it you can leave" and then I finally did. His explanation for the fitness stuff is that he was more concerned about my health more than anything and that he wanted me to enjoy these sports as much as him and that meant being at his level.