I discussed with my W some issues that were deal-breakers in our 6 month attempt, and some solutions I had to take more ownership over my reactions/feelings over long-standing issues.
Well...today was a bit rough. I got her into a test that she wanted for upgrading her overseas high school diploma. She did it but had many miscommunication & comprehension problems on it. I felt such despair - how can I live with someone who can't even finish a simple test?
I'm going back to my plan to take responsibility for my reactions, and I had decided, "Make her smarter through academic upgrading, get rid of language difficulties so it isn’t one more barrier to conversation, be kinder, grieve, and have her accept she needs to question to understand". So to act on this, I know I need to be kinder to her, I need to understand that language is the biggest issue not intellect, and that she's been taking care of the kids and over-sacrificing for long enough that I need to be proud of her that she went for the test in the first place.
I'm struggling, but I think I'm going to wake up tomorrow fine.
I'm planning to (90%) reconcile tomorrow with a candle-lit dinner, a tablecloth (a big deal when you have 5 kids!), and so on.
On another note, I asked and she told me she likes a less hairy chest...so I offered to wax my chest. She didn't believe me, but I bought the strips! She got some wax too, so we'll cry together. I'm told the worst is the first time, so pray for me!!!!
I am doing this as an offering - strip away the past and move forward.
