Thank you everyone for the input. You are all probably right. It just seems so unlike the person I married but essentially that's the problem isn't it.
For now I'll wait and see what else comes up but Puppy if you think of anything please share.
Jasper - the email of the tax forms went to her work email address not directly to anyone but good thinking.
Allen - I've never dealt with teenagers but you are right I can't trust W right now. If I could she would be telling me about her hour long phone calls with OM!
I had a really rough night last night so I went up to bed early to avoid any contact. I'm pretty cool on the outside but my stomach is constantly in knots. That visit with the L shook me up. We talked about staying in my home and he tells me if she really wants me out she'll make something up about domestic violence.
He says it happens all the time because the law where we live just assumes it's true to protect the W and they worry about the facts later. At first I wouldn't think her capable of that but now I don't know.
He also showed me the amount of child support I would pay if she got my D in a custody battle...of course I'd pay it but I didn't need that stress added to my life right now.
Brutal stuff
M 40 W 39 D 4 M 5 years Bomb dropped 08/09 In house separation
I'm really glad to hear that you are visibly unphased- I was too frustrated and demoralized to exude confidence and calm...I also wasnt posting here when I needed to be the most, so alot of damage was done before I truly started DB-ing.
Stomach in knots- of course.
Once you have more info be prepared for the gaslighting- read up on it again...there will be anger, traps, and LIES...you cant feed any of them
BWP, what state are you in? Domestic abuse is pretty hard to prove. I'm in one of the three or four WORST states for "men's rights" issues, and yet my attorney told me that altho he was sure they'd TRY to get me out of my house (he was right), it was a longshot for them at best (it was).
I would say time to get a new atty, one that will fight for you more confidently.
Puppy, not a state...Canada. I don't think he meant I'd be out for good but that she could make claims that would have me removed 'at the time'. That's the approach the police take. Don't forget the complicating issue is OM is a cop.
When we argued about my first concerns last August and I made the mistake of taking the phone away from W. OM told her I had 'abused' her.
Something is up here...not sure what. Nothing at all on the computer today. Not even a joke email. W has gone to MIL tonight (this one seems legit) I listened in on a home phone call with MIL.
I'm worried that W beats me to the punch and starts spreading lies about me to family and friends.
Puppy, any further thoughts on the 'double play'?
M 40 W 39 D 4 M 5 years Bomb dropped 08/09 In house separation
I hear you Jasper, I'm not texting or calling but I'm worried.
I don't have full intel and she's got me putting a voice recorder in her car. I get I can deny that but it won't look good when W spins it.
I still think it's one OM but now I found a questionable email in her old sent file to another email address - the only one though. I so don't want to be spinning right now.
My d asked me tonight, why don't you sleep in your bed anymore? No answer
M 40 W 39 D 4 M 5 years Bomb dropped 08/09 In house separation
do you think she's reading YOUR e-mails? Can you set it up where she WILL?
Here's what I'm thinking. Send an e-mail to a friend, along the lines of "I honestly don't know what to do, Steve. I've heard from a friend of hers already that she thinks I put a voice-recorder in her car, and I HONESTLY DON'T KNOW WHAT SHE'S TALKING ABOUT! I have it on pretty good authority that her OM put it there (I have a mutual friend who's also a cop), because he -- get this! -- THINKS SHE IS "CHEATING" ON HIM, BY HAVING SEX WITH ME! LOL! I know I know, this is all so crazy. I really don't know what to do. I love her, and I DON'T want a divorce, but this has all gotten so surreal, and I REALLY don't trust this guy. I know he's lying to her, and from what I've heard about him, she should be very, very careful . . . "
etc., etc., etc.
It's basically a play to use a cheating spouse's own usually very high sense of paranoia AGAINST them, and drive a wedge between them. Basically, the concept is that they spend so much time lying to EVERYONE ELSE in their lives, that there's almost always instances where each of them have ALREADY gotten angry with the other for lying to THEM, and now you pile on top of that, via a channel where you know they'll read it, and without looking too obvious.
