I had an important moment today. I had mentioned to H that I was going snowshoeing, and I could sense a little reaction in him. Some kind of disequilibrium I guess, because he knows that I don't any friends who would be likely to go snowshoeing on a weeknight...he may have assumed it is a "date". Anyway I was walking down the street later thinking about that and I suddenly realized that my thoughts about H were a hook for me. Not a new realization, but it felt fresh at the time. I breathed into the "sticky" feeling and saw that it was about me, not about H. That moment was a babystep towards detachment.
This is good to hear- and from reading all your story, I think a little detachment will be healing and good for you right now. It doesn't have to mean breaking away 100% forever, but reducing the triggers and attachment when negative things are happening is a positive thing.
You have to let us know how the snoeshoeing goes!
When the men on the chessboard Get up and tell you where to go; And you've just had some kind of mushroom And your mind is moving slow; Go ask Alice... I think she'll know.
That disequilibrium was the look of your first real 180
I've seen the look a couple of times, but I'm trying not to mindread.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
- walk in the forest with children, got hailed on - chanting - watching an episode of Absolutely Fabulous on YouTube
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
What brought on "the look" the other times? Or what preceded it?
One time was being obviously dressed up to go out for my birthday. Keep in mind that my going out EVER in the evening is a 180 for me.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
flowmom, you're the coolest. Snowshoeing sounds awesome. I'll live vicariously through you on this one. It's in the high 60s/low 70s here, but I'd love to see some snow just one more time this year. I hope you have a wonderful time!
#8. Snow? Are you crazy? Enough is enough already.
Snow is only on the mountaintops where I live
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
