he said he found this site and i said H! that stuff is for me and he said he doesnt read my stuff, just stuff on here, i dont believe him... he has walked in the room a couple times when i was blogging and i would try to minimize the screen or scroll up or down or something and he must have seen more than i realized... uggghhhh!!!!
Me: 25 H:25 M: 2yrs T: 4yrs No Kids Bomb: 11 Feb 10 Newcomers Story
Don't do anything. He can read all he likes. He's trying to control the chaos HE caused.
He hasn't admitted to being wrong, remorseful, etc. He feels he's doing the right thing, etc. But that's his deal. Can't change that. But by controlling your actions and threatening, yes he was threatening you with how "ugly" it will get. Is like a little boy throwing a tantrum when he can't get his way with things.
He can't control you any more than you can control him. The difference is that you are doing the right thing and he's not. There's a reason why the military objects to this type of behavior...IT'S WRONG.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
meghunny, I had a similar thing happen to me with my W finding this site. I sent a message to the moderators here and asked them to make my existing threads invisible. You need to make them invisible because when you change your name, your name will change to the new name on the threads that already exist.
I had them make them invisible instead of deleting them because I knew down the road I would have them brought back so I had a record of my journey.
You just click the notify button on the bottom right corner of any post on your thread and send them your request. Make sure you put your current name in the message - I'm not sure if they can readily tell who notified.
I then requested to have my name changed which they did.
I then started posting again under a different name. Eventually the people who were following me found my thread.
There's no guarantee but it is what I did.
MySitch Me-47 STBXW-41 D-5 S-8 ILYBNILWY-01/08 Want a D- 01/09 Physical Sep-01/10 D filed-06/10 Got 50% custody=09/11 Ride that wave!
ok... so I have not yet turned over the emails... But H is back in the house now, which sucks. Today was the day of the cruise so Im pretty bitter about that. Last night on IM, H started putting me on a guilt trip, talking to me like if only I could have done things better we wouldnt be in this mess and wouldnt be getting D... and then turned around and was real apologetic and like I know it wasnt all your fault that we had problems, and I do love you i really do, I wish we could have made this M work..etc... so Im feeling all guilty... THEN tacks on the end of that convo..."im gonna be really pissed if you try to get my in trouble with those emails"...SOOOO... he was playing me the whole time during that convo, trying to say nice things to butter me up. Then later that night says to me "not that you care but Im not going to Vegas anymore anyways, I cant work around other peoples plans"... Ok, thats prob all part of his plan to not give me a reason to turn over those emails. I do have a sneaking suspiscion though that OW has kinda stopped talking to him... not 100% sure though.
So now H is back in the house and started making sex jokes to me again... WHO IS THIS CRAZY PERSON??! I feel so used and disrespected... I can honestly say I had the BEST H before this all happened, he was amazing and loving and kind... but THIS guy... oh lord, its disgusting sometimes. Maybe its his true colors??
I dont know guys...Im so detached now its not even funny. I do have moments where I miss the memory of the good times...but then he does or says something and it all goes away. I was a few weeks away from starting a family with this man, who I love more than anything... and suddenly I am like scum that he can treat however he wants?
Me: 25 H:25 M: 2yrs T: 4yrs No Kids Bomb: 11 Feb 10 Newcomers Story
Surviving don't give into his antics. You need to show respect for yourself. You're being played by your H right now. try not tolet yourself get sucked in by his up and down behavior. Stay on track and do what's best for you.
I'm glad to see that you've detached and none of this is gettingto you. I hope I'll be able to do that once i get home and the B.S gets thick.
Married 18 Me 39 W 37 D 15 D 5 Divorce Filed 8 April 2010 Beginning of Reconcile 8 Sept
