She still wants to go on the camping trip. We'll see how that goes. She got very upset this morning when I left for work without very much to say to her. She called just to chat already this morning. I kept the conversation short; I am staying away from the drama.
Well, what did she expect? In essence, she has bombed you again. It is one thing to suspect something has happened, quite another when it comes into reality, and you're told by the very person who made a promise to love, cherish and keep herself only unto you.
Your world has crashed again, but you'll recover; you contain that kind of strength within.
What comes to mind is the less said right now, the better the situation will work out for you....she has to know through your very actions that she has hurt you...and could lose you if she doesn't do something to turn the situation around...and her first thought should be dumping OM..but you can't say that to her. She has to make this decision on her own, while you continue on with your life for the time being.
You are right, stay away from the drama as much as you can..you've said all you need to say, now SHE has some hard decisions to make.
I'm thinking she will start pursuing you now that you've(in action) have turned away, and she sees you have. That is why she got upset when you left for work. You had nothing to say, and she sees that she may lose you. She called to see where things stood between you, and you cut the conversation short; NOT what she expected you to do, and that has thrown her off-balance. Good, she NEEDS to be off-balance for the time being; you've had enough of being that way yourself.
I'm thinking you're doing the right thing..this may be a turning point for her or she may turn back away toward OM...things could go either way at this point.
I'm praying, most seriously, that she will begin the full turn toward you, dump the OM, and start coming back in earnest.
It's a good sign that she still wants to go on the camping trip with you and the children.
The confessions were/are the starting point, your lack of reaction is another point...but you turning away, or the looking like you are doing that is having its affect on her.
You love her dearly in spite of what she's done, and you're struggling to get this right...and I think you're doing fine.
Just remember the decision is hers, and she has to be let go to make whatever decision she will make; and love her enough to keep letting her go, regardless of how she decides to go.
She, too, is at a crossroads.
I don't advocate being "mean" to MLC'ers, but your actions have stated a point to her, and that is NOT being mean at all...so please don't take what I've said as you being that way.
Consequences for our actions is a serious step that gets taken every time we pursue an action...MLC'ers aren't any different; but they, because of the confusing nature of the crisis, don't see their actions as being hurtful, or even wrong.
At certain times of this, though, they see clearly what can happen if they don't straighten up and start flying right.
Keep us posted on what happens.
Remember, as each person is different, every MLC/Transition is different..what works for one may not work for another. Most of the time it is trial and error for ALL involved.
