Thanks for all of the suggestions. First let me tell ya I love to dance. But because of my leg not everybody calls what I do dancing. If fact when I was single my best buddy used to make fun of my dancing. Didn’t bother me though because I knew the only reason he did it was because he was afraid of dancing. And hey he was my best friend so they are allowed sometimes to be jerks. L would give almost anything to have my leg / movement back to ball room dance. But I was dealt a hand (Or foot) and I just have to deal with it. OT … I am not waiting until October for anything…things are getting better every day and who knows...
Let me go back a few years here… ALL of us had the rug taken out from under us when the bomb was dropped. Maybe some had a little “feeling” before but me I was taken Soooo off guard. I knew wife was having problems. I enlisted her sister for help “before something serious happened” but I was too late. Now I was pretty stable. I was happy and because of my accident learned to deal with life as it came along the best I could. BUT……….. This Bomb wife dropped on me was more than I could handle. I became “lost in the fog” also. OT… you always accuse me of having “no plan” or “doing nothing” let me ask you this… How can a person struggling to keep their head above water, save another from drowning? That is where I have been these last two years... Trying to keep above the water. First my wife had an affair with another man….(My boat sinks)..So I am swimming around trying to figure out what happened… things start to stabilize a little and I lose my job…. I am stuck in this ocean of emotion with nothing to hold on to. There is no way I could reach my wife and help her when I myself was lost. Well things are finely coming together. I have a direction…It’s like I have finely swam to a little island. I have always said that wife had low self esteem. I don’t think I had low self esteem myself but I felt I was just an “average guy”. Well going back to school has boosted my ego 100%. I feel myself walking taller. IT was allot of work to get this grant. I feel I have gotten a second chance in life and truly feel like I am starting a new chapter that I have total control over. If I fail I have no one to blame but myself. I am pulling out all stops. I have resigned from all of the volunteer orgs. that I belonged to so I can dedicate all my time to ME and my studies I now have my two feet (ok one foot) planted on solid ground. IT’s like I am now on shore and I can see my wife is still out there but getting closer. To be totally honest with you aside from the lack of intimacy everything is great. She is always cooking new stuff to please me…always asks if I need anything when she goes to the store…she has even started putting my clean clothes away.(used to just leave them on the bed for me).I hear her talking to her friends about how I did this or that..(Positive things)… I am almost there OT. I have lost most of my “needy ness” Soon I may be ready to just let the cave man in me out and throw her up against the wall..(Softly of course) as you would say
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
