Today I feel done with caring about what H thinks about me. I was a whole human being before I met him, and I still am. I was intelligent, sexy, warm, adventurous...and nothing has changed about me. I f---- up a lot of things in our M and nothing I can do can change that. H is right, our M was over years ago because he wasn't in it.
I thought I could DB for a year, or more, but now I'm not sure. It's been almost three months since the separation, but I've been pursuing him for years. The devastation of abandonment is still with me, but I also see that he is the one who is broken. Love is a choice and he chose not to love me.
I'm going to have to deal with my agony about my children and what this is doing them. How can I forgive myself?
This sounds like amazing insight. Wow! So spot on. Seems healthy.
M38, H37 S3, S7 Together 15 yrs Married 8 yrs Bomb July 2008 Inhouse separation "I hate you" "We are over" (too many times to count) Reconciled Sept 2009 (still worth it)
