help some advice plse..have i finished it for good

[JacT]

Bond you make alot of sense and challenge me to think.Thanks.

What is acceptance? I lived with it for 28 years and realised it was never going to go away but he was limited to what he could do with children in the house. All my family knew including my siblings(S43,B30) and they continued to love him. My brother asked him to be BM at his wedding in Jul10.

I tried to get him to speak to someone who was specialised in gender dysphoria because only he can decide who he is and whether he wants to be female (he has written lots down and talked about fulfiling his deam and desire to be a woman)The Internet A was with another male cd.
The ow does not know the extent of his CD,I am sure about that.She is only doing what I have tried..everything but it was never enough which is why I think he needs some specialised help to give him the courage to make an informed decision.

Its easy not to judge when you have only taken baby steps. The A was snatched hours here and there, very different when you are living with it 24/7.He said he told the ow everything(if he has)then he's learned not to do what he did with me...lie.

My H came to bed dressed in womans underwear and with painted toe nails, he wears female clothin under his gym kit.I have shopped with him/for him, seen him dressed etc etc. If it was my lack of acceptance why remarry and why not an A before?

We would both say we would not choose to be living with CD but I never tried to change him.I did try to control it.He had time when we were not around to have his own space.The problem was never the CD it was the lies and deceit which surrounded it, clearly a result of threats from his mother to tell his father.It was always wrong to do it so he lied abt it.

I told him before he left I would help him because he was completely open about the space he was in. By that time it was too late he had crossed the line.

His father does not undrstand,accept or want to discuss it with him neither did his mother.(died over 7 yrs ago)

There have been times I havent helped it but I believe as a woman I have been more accepting than most W would be.I have never judged him because of it..I think thats seperate issue from acceptance.

Maybe its time for me to let go if there is someone who can deal with it better than me but again she didnt expect to be living with him permanently.

I have alot to think about and you have helped...thanks again.