New here but have been a voyeur

[Truegritter]

Right now you're in #3. He wants to come home but has not gone through what happens in option #2 which is completes self review, makes changes etc.

Old marriage is dead so when you feel like this (#2) has happened then by all means start talking to him and maybe let him move back and piece your M back together.

Unless you detach you will not make it to option 2 and neither will he. If you are still in the same drama of the M that was there b4 you won't be healthy enough to see any of this.

Does that make sense? That's why the mantra DO FOR YOU.