I don't want to give the wrong impression. My W and I are doing very well. And the friction is well worth the good times we are having of which I don't write about. One thing I have learned about the reconciliation process is that it is definitely not a one side fits all.
I read all of your responses before heading to meet her for lunch. I was ready to put it all behind me and go out for a light enjoyable time. I pick her up at her office and what do I see mixed in with all her pictures of our girls... a framed picture of OM's D3?! I was livid inside, but I thought to myself 'keep your cool'.
It didn't work - she saw it all over my face. W: "What's the matter?" M: <silent, thinking is there anything productive to say?> W: "C'mon, tell me." M: "That picture upsets me." W: "It's cute. And she had nothing to do with it. I don't understand your reaction." M: "It's the meaning I am sure he put to it when he gave it to you. He gave it to you after we were seperated, didn't he?" W: "Yes." M: "In his mind, this was some way of trying to put together some sort of fantastical family."
W puts the picture in a drawer.
W: "OK. She's gone."
<silence>
W: "Talk to me."
I really had nothing productive to say, so I sat silent for a while.
M: "Let's go." - I stand up.
W sits there silent.
M: "I understand if you don't feel like coming." W: "No. Let's go."
...
The lunch started off very strained but we were able to get to joking and laughing by the end. So I am glad we got together. But it isn't easy to not talk about this stuff when my W can read me like a book. I don't know if I had a right to be upset at the picture or not, but I did. Something had to be said.
