help some advice plse..have i finished it for good

[MrBond]

"(a happy man would not disconnect from everyone if life was good would he?)."

No but a depressed man would.

"I couldnt take rejection now and worried about the hold ow has.She is going to fight like a pit bull.
Maybe I need to start CBT and see if helps my confidence in believing I do know him better than anyone."

In what way have you shown that you "know" him better? You aren't able to accept his CD and I think that's the key. You not only have to understand why he's doing something, but also accept it one way or the other. That's probably what the OW is doing.


"When he last visited his dad(brief half hour) several weeks ago, he was apparently very emotional and said he couldnt face us.What I have learned is he cannot change."

See so YOU want him to change when he doesn't want to. Can you accept him as he is?

"Maybe the stray dog idea is better but not sure he has got over his infatuation."

I don't think this is an "infatuation". It's a matter of her giving him what he needed which was acceptance. He feels his family can't/won't accept him but she can. Of course that will change over time, but think of a little boy running off to the circus. He's going to go somewhere that he is accepted and not judged.

Can you show that to him?