A book that I called "life changing" when I read it, is "Boundaries In Marriage" by Cloud and Townsend.
Even though I read this after my husband had already had an affair and moved out, it was still amazing. Reading how things ought to be in a marriage helped me identify and own the places where I needed to grow as a wife, where I had come up short. Not that this excused my husband's actions, but it helped me identify my part in the problems of our marriage. And if/when I ever decide I want to be married again, I will reread it to remind myself how to do things better/differently...
It also helped me see from an outside/impartial perspective how the things my husband had done/was still doing were not acceptable. That I had a right to expect/want more and better things. Hard to explain but it was an amazing book and I will apply its principles in a ny relationship I have from here on out...
My other, lighter favorite was a tag team combo of "He's Just Not That Into You" and "It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken". Both written by Behrent. The first I read while we were separated and H was claiming that he was "trying to figure out how to fix things" and "wanted to reconcile but didn't know how".... It helped me to see that his actions were not those of a man who was "into" me and wanted me in his life.
The second I read while we were actually going through the divorce process and I was having a mental battle, not wanting to actually get divorced but knowing I didn't really have the choice anymore. It helps to identify what is wrong in the relationship and why we shouldn't go running back and trying to hold onto something unhealthy for us!
