help some advice plse..have i finished it for good

[JacT]

Thanks Bond.
I do believe his unresolved child issues have created the MLC however I completely accept I have not helped the matter, agree 100%.
I know the girls have accepted he is a CD may not like it but would have loved him anyway. I have struggled with it more because of the veiled secrecy around it. How could I let him walk around dressed when our daughters had no idea?
The ow can offload her kids to her XH and seems to be happy doing it when ever the fancy takes him.
I believe he is ashamed and his embarrassment goes beyond aything we have ever experienced.
I will not be agreeing to the D but I am worried that is what he wants to do and I have got it wrong that he is unhappy.(a happy man would not disconnect from everyone if life was good would he?).
I couldnt take rejection now and worried about the hold ow has.She is going to fight like a pit bull.
Maybe I need to start CBT and see if helps my confidence in believing I do know him better than anyone.

When he last visited his dad(brief half hour) several weeks ago, he was apparently very emotional and said he couldnt face us.What I have learned is he cannot change.
Maybe the stray dog idea is better but not sure he has got over his infatuation.