How to get wife interested in counseling?

[built4speed]

To me, even the title of this post shows you are pointing in the wrong direction. As you have probably figured out after a year, YOU CAN'T GET HER TO DO ANYTHING!

You need to do things that you CAN control, and that means working on you, not trying to get her to do something. It's supposed to work like this:

1. You quit pressuring her for things like dinner and counseling.
Result: She gets some time to think about what she is doing and wonders why you are not after her anymore. Might even make her move towards you. You should not let her do it for a while until you do some work, meaning...

2. You work on your own stuff. Without her. Without broadcasting it.
You improve. You become a higher quality human being. You are doing it strictly for you, not to show her anything, not to prove anything. Totally and utterly for you. If you feel like you need to broadcast this so she sees it, you are still not doing it for you. Trust me, she will notice.
Result: You become more attractive to ALL women, including her. If it works out with her, good. If it doesn't, you will get higher quality women than you can get today. Trust me on this one, it really works!

3. You GAL.
Plan for a life without her, meaning do things you enjoy. Take a class. Do that trip. Change to the job you always wanted.
Result: Whomever you end up with will really like a guy as interesting and playful and fun as you. As "intentional" about life as you are. As manly, confident and exciting as you are. It might be her. It might not be her. But either way, you are in a better spot.

In the end, mine still chose to D. Later she told me she had really messed up, and apologized for ruining our family. That might happen to you, it's not really up to you. But now I have an amazing girlfriend who is crazy about me, loves me, wants to be with me. Ex did no work on herself and may repeat history. It's not really my problem anymore!

So, read the DR books and implement!!!