I definitely see your point...and like wise you are seeing mine. It really is an almost no win situation.
Some of the pitfalls I see. Your H has stated the house is yours. That is fine, but has it legally been documented somewhere?
Let's say your sell house and pay off debt. Is there enough left, that if he changes his mind and says I want my half that you will still have enough for your plan? That is a possibility.
I may be wrong....but doesn't the government still view your company as a non-entity? In that it has corporate protections, but debt and taxes are still the responsibilities of the owners. My company is a LLC, but I have been informed that until I have another partner (beyond my wife) that the government still see's my company as being a sole proprietor. I am just brainstorming here.....trying to help you define the most protective route to proceed.
Does your state require corporate evaluation periodically? I know some states do that for tax purposes.
Of course this all goes back to Eric's lawyer advice in not paying off the debt. Have you consulted a lawyer on this? I think you are trying to take the least confrontational path...which I applaud. There is just so many legal "what if's" when dealing with issues like yours.
Yesterday was an interesting day, here is the recap.
In the morning I had a meeting with WH in Starbucks. The topic was money...of course. So I had my "business hat" on and told him my ideas on how we can start to unravel our financial mess and separate our finances (see my post above for details). Another topic was the state of the business and yes the "trust" issue came up again. We seem to go in circles on that one. He wants me to stay in business and I'm telling him that it's hard for me to be optimistic an committed to it since I don't "trust" what he will do next (moving away to be with OW).
Well for the first time he said that he doesn't know what will happen...I said "what do you mean?" he said "you know" (OW??) then he said that he is not planning to move away. The way he said it seemed that maybe things are little iffy with OW? Whatever, I'm not reading much into it.
When I proposed that we'll pay all joint/guaranteed debt when I sell the house (see my previous post) it got a little heated. WH announced that he wants to pay out all of our unsecured suppliers as well - to get a "fresh start". I said no way that I'm using my house equity to do that. I said that's the craziest thing that I've ever heard. I said that I will not even discuss that, we may as well go to a lawyer if he brings that up again.
Our discussion was at times heated and at times emotional. Anything I say he takes personally as criticism and gets defensive. But I did see that he was trying not to leash out.
At one point I just quietly said "How did this happened to us, how did we find our selves here?" He just looked at me and the tears started to escape from his eyes.
I just felt that in the past week all we talked about is business and money, which was all stressful and emotional and not good at all for DB'ing. I had a gut feeling that I need to show him my "nice" side. Friendly, happy... someone you would want to be with. So I invited him to go to Costco shopping with me (If you remember he was asking me to go with him and I wasn't sure at that time if it would be a good idea). He said yes.
I picked him up, I was happy, perky, acted like we are the best friends going to have some fun time together. While driving I was talking about music and just random stuff, then I realized that he was quiet, I look beside me - he is crying.
I just put my hand on his leg and say "I'ts OK". He pulled himself together by the time we got there.
We had great time shopping, like the old us. Chatting about food, reminiscing, smiling at each other. He would hug me, or touch my arm. But I did see how emotional he was. Few times when I said "remember when" the tears would come to his eyes. At one point he said "do they sell any happy pills?"). Driving home he put on some music from his I-pod. when he put on "The House of the Rising Sun" by the Animals he started to cry and cry and me too. To many memories.
Despite all of the emotional crying, I think that it was a great DB time. I felt intimacy between us. But I'm not getting excited about it, he is "cycling" so who knows what today will bring...
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
That is good stuff...remember though...no expectations.
Detach....Detach....Detach.
Maybe an irony of your business situation is that it has forced him to see some of the realities of his decisions without it being relationship based. You can talk business as business with no emotional bearing....because business is cold and usually straight forward.
On your side you can unemotionally (business is separate from an emotional relationship) point out the facts. From that he has fact based repercussions to his actions.
WH said many times that the house is mine & D's. For some strange reason I believe him, but it will be a part of our separation agreement. I'm still "processing" all of this and planning for solutions, I think that I'll be ready soon to put it all on paper for him to sign.
BTW I'm in Canada, so the corporate law is probably different then in the US. But I will double check shareholder's liability in regards to Taxes, payroll and such.
If I'm unsure I will contact a lawyer. You are right at this stage I'm trying to keep things friendly. He is not asking for a divorce not even for a reparation agreement, he just wants everything as is (too much to cope with for him right now). We've only separated in January, and it takes time to sort all of this out.
LFW I really appreciate your input, please keep it coming, It helps me to focus on issues.
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
I was part of a division one college hockey team and of course most of the team was from Canada....it took me a good two years to get rid of the "Aye" to end every other sentence...Aye!
Canadian corporate law is more than likely different than US corporate law, but still good to inquire.
One thing I have learned in business....to often "right now" is too late. I like that you are being proactive in finding business solutions, but are taking your time with relationship issues.
