Husband in Crisis - what do I do?

[ericmsant2]

DU

I am "doom and gloom" as they say. I don't want to feel this way, but I do.

Just remember that YOU control how YOU feel and for the record your not always doom and gloom

There does not seem to be any "definite hope" to my situation.

The definition of hope - To wish for something with expectation of its fulfillment.
Hope is a belief in a positive outcome related to events and circumstances in one's life.
Hope is the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best.

There is ALWAYS hope! Your hope though should be a hope in YOU and where YOU will land/become.

How can he allow this to happen?

Maybe He is trying to tell YOU something. Stop looking at your H and look inward. Change YOU. If you are an open spirit then He can work in YOU.

I am so concerned that God is disappointed in me and my decisions.

He is not disappointed. We all fall short dear...all of us. Maybe just maybe He needs YOU to stop trying to fix this and just trust in HIM. As several have told me - let go....let go... Remeber He loves you regardless of anything that you have done. Don't let these negative thoughts take control - they are feelings and feelings will change.

that his WILL does not include reconciliation with my H.

Do you really know His WILL? Or is this that crystal ball thing we all do. I am guilty of this as well so let's you and I agree to put away the crysal ball for now.

How can I have any hope that my M could be saved from D if God is driving and caused the events to take place?

Hope/faith is not based on anything you see or hear. It is a belief that He will do what He said he would do. Trust Him he knows what He is doing...remeber He is God.

I had a breakdown (really disapointed myself).

It happens and is normal so DO NOT beat yourself up for this! Crystal ball and fortune teller aside...you are human - so be gentle with yourself.

The H said he was concerned because he called me on Sunday and I did not answer. He then hugs me tight.

Then looks at me and tells me that he cares for me and my well-being. It is the thing that "keeps me (the H) up all night" is what he says.

"since you gave me the stuff, then I will call my L and have her cancel the court summons".

he wanted to spend time (a few days) with me before he deployed

IMO - All positives and it shows that He is confused. Do Not push - give him the space he needs to figure this out. Keep doing what you are doing. Keeping seeking God face!

"that was when I wanted you out of the house, and of course I do not want you out of the house".

Seems like and answered prayer to me! You see He does hear your prayers. Have you ever thought that maybe just maybe he want's you to trust Him!

I ask him if there was any more info on his deployment he could share.

Stop asking some of these questions...it is preasure. If he wanted you to know he would have told you.

but that I should have no hope

Does he really control how you feel...how you hope...if you hope....sounds to me like he has way too much control over YOU. Are you comfortable with that? Personally, your hope is just that YOURS!

he held my hand tight for what seemed like an eternity

IMO - another sign that he is confused.

I going dark from everyone

Sounds good. Surround yourself with positive people and people that support what you are doing. Just remember you cannot do this alone.

You are doing great DU - you are bouncing back quicker and quicker. Patience dear...patience...

A few questions for YOU....
- Where is the puppy that you promised yourself?
- What other GAL activities do you have planned? If I recall Geonos (sp??) asked you to list a few.
- What changes do you think YOU need to make?


God Bless,
Eric