How do I expose the affair

[4luv]

I am just curious why you are supplicating to him? If it's your house, why not move in whenever you please? Why do you have to wait for him to move out????

I would move back in ASAP and if he didn't like it-T.S. in my book.

He made this mess he can live with it. It shouldn't have to have you compromising your life. If he is upset with sharing a house, than HE can leave. Or he can sleep on the couch. Right now he has everything the way he wants- the kids, the house, his OW (in your d@mn bed, I might add), and no consequences.


I just worry that the time away from the kids could be used against you in a legal sense. I have no idea though.


And quite honestly, b/c I can be a b@tch when I want to be at times. I would tell him nothing and just be moved in when he got home. Pick a time when you know he would be out. An act as if nothing is wrong. Really would upset him and the OW big time and there is nothing he can do about it. And don't let him suck you into the drama. He's is upset, let it roll of your back. Whatever! The house is equally yours. You have a right to be there. Do not fight with him about it, discuss it,debate it. Just validate and move on, get busy cooking or cleaning. Do not leave the room if he gives you a hard time unless it gets extremely bad or bad for the kids to watch.

Plop your butt on the couch and look at him calmly and state- "I AM STAYING, I AM NOT LEAVING THIS HOUSE". Then turn on the tv and ignore his rant. Act as cool as a cucumber.Take back your control! You are giving ti to him on a platter, IMO.

I like the surprise factor- there is no reason to play nice and give him a head up or "agree" when you "can" move back in. It would have more weight that you are not going to comply with whatever he wants. You are your own person, not someone that obeys him or tries to appease him. Have a pleasant calm demeanor. Let him know that he can NOT push your buttons anymore.


See people have predictable patterns and when you act out of character it really knocks someone off balance. Knock the man off balance, IMO. No more of the expected, same old, same old. Implement changes. You will feel better standing up to him.

Move back in now- it's your own d@mn house!

Enough of my rant! lol

YES!!! EXACTLY WHAT JUNE WROTE!! I was trying to figure out a way to type that without being hard on you but what June said is correct. STOP TRYING TO COMPROMISE WITH HIM! He is NOT going to listen...HE is IRRATIONAL right now...HE IS SELFISH right now. You didn't need to talk to him about YOUR house. YOU don't need to EXPLAIN anything to him...Really treat him LIKE the child (because that is the way he is acting. You wouldn't bargin/rationalize with your child on a decision that is best in the end for yourself or your child.

When talking to your husband from now on...imagine him being one of your children that is acting out. How would you act if one of your children had been giving you major attitude, not following the rules, etc.? Would you tell that child what you would "like" to do or would you tell that child what you "are" going to do?

Example, in the convo with your husband, don't tell him you would like to move back in the house...say, "I am moving back in the house." Leave it at that. He didn't need to know when and he CERTAINLY didn't need you to pick a date that is CONVENIENT for HIM.