Also, DH has said several times - almost absentmindedly - good marriages don't have affairs. I know this bothers him a lot. He really feels hurt by this A. I want to show him the research on it. What do you all think of me gathering copies of pages from books from several people and giving it to him the day of the intervention and letting it sink in a bit? I won't say anything, other than please read these and then walk away. Maybe seeing it in black and white - yes, good M's are prone to having A's also if the parties are not careful - that will help him mentally accept that the A is not the end of the world/M. Right now I think he's gone so far in his mind that he thinks he can not come back. I need to be the light that guides him back to me.
