Here is a phrase "I do not want a D, but if that is the only way for you to be happy, I will not stand in your way".

If the Refi helps protect you, go for it. Lower payments are good. You can always make higher payments to the 30 if needed....

"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712