peace nice to see you stopping by again. My intention is to definitely have the talk when I'm ready. i just don't want to get home and have it linger. I want to spend some time with my daughters and then do it. I just want to let her know I don't want to do as soon as i get home, but i also don't want to wait much after that.
Married 18 Me 39 W 37 D 15 D 5 Divorce Filed 8 April 2010 Beginning of Reconcile 8 Sept
I was sitting on the computer trying to find the end of the internet here in Afghanistan, and I get a phone call over Skype. It was my W for the second day in a row. Not earth shattering by any means.
She was kind enough to tell me that she had to take my D4 back to the doctors. Third round of antibiotics for strep throat. My poor little princess.
We talked about that and some other little things. We discussed the talk. I told her my first priority was the girls, but after I get to spend what I feel is adequate time with them we could speak. She appreciated the fact that the girls were my priority and she agreed.
Another civil friendly conversation. I'm not reading into this I promise. It's just nice to be nice and get nice in return.
Married 18 Me 39 W 37 D 15 D 5 Divorce Filed 8 April 2010 Beginning of Reconcile 8 Sept
She came up with an excuse and managed to call me again. When I get home would it be wrong of me to ACCIDENTLY leave my DR book laying around or would that let her know my tactics?
I just think the first few chapters would be a great read for her.
Married 18 Me 39 W 37 D 15 D 5 Divorce Filed 8 April 2010 Beginning of Reconcile 8 Sept
Also, just to give you an idea of how her mind is working right now. She keeps calling me to tell me that the kids are sick. I told her that I hope she doesn't get sick. She said i will, I'm always taking care of the kids and I always get what they get.
Wow, that couldn't have been further from the truth. In reality I'm the one that ALWAYS takes time from work to take them to the doctors and stay home with D4 when she can't go to daycare. I didn't call her out on that one, but I will when we speak.
Just wanted to give you guys an idea of where her mind is at. This talk is going to be so much fun. She hasn't been mean at all, I've just been pickingup on her little comments and making a mental note.
Married 18 Me 39 W 37 D 15 D 5 Divorce Filed 8 April 2010 Beginning of Reconcile 8 Sept
Well tbart, some of us have to sleep and you are in a different time zone LOL.
Luckily I work night shift (midnight right now) but I really do not know what to tell you.
It sounds like she really either wants to hear something from you or wants to tell you something and is hesitating but again, DO NOT read into all this. May be nothing at all.
Most likely she is eager to guage your mood and mental state so she can prepare for you being face 2 face with her. That's just my gut feeling and wild guess.
Just be careful man. Don't get sucked into false hope. Pray for the best but prepare for the worst. Seriously.
Me:48 W:55 M:22 T:23 Bomb:19Nov09 S:15Jan10 D:11Feb10 EA:Confirmed on 20Apr10 Fast track to her divorcing me
She came up with an excuse and managed to call me again. When I get home would it be wrong of me to ACCIDENTLY leave my DR book laying around or would that let her know my tactics?
I just think the first few chapters would be a great read for her.
ABSOLUTELY NOT. Leave nothing 'laying' around the house. She'll know you left it and she'll resent you for it. If she asks you about what you're reading that would be a different story.
Just remember. If she reads DR she will look at it as you setting up a strategy to manipulate her into coming back. That's all she'll see in it so I would never show it to a spouse.
I catch myself still trying to do small things to control and manipulate in the fashion you just asked. It's control and it's an illusion. I find most of my control attempts end up backfiring on me.
MySitch Me-47 STBXW-41 D-5 S-8 ILYBNILWY-01/08 Want a D- 01/09 Physical Sep-01/10 D filed-06/10 Got 50% custody=09/11 Ride that wave!
bart, you are getting sucked into hope. Get out. It's hard and I know it's hard. But going in with hope will lead to expectations. Expectations will lead to you gauging every single word that is said to see if they meet your expectations.
Those words or sentences that don't reflect your expectation will cause an emotional reaction in you - even if you don't 'show' it, it will come out and she will pick up on it.
You will become deflated, disappointed, fearful, projecting negative, you'll become needy and clingy....
Let go. Let go of the event of your phone call. It meant nothing. Just a neutral event.
Push that into your brain. If you have no expectations, you will not react to anything that happens. If you don't react to anything that happens you will be in a position to accept fully whatever direction it moves in.
When you can embrace fully any course it takes, you will be detached from the outcome.
Want what you want, but do not be attached to a certain outcome.
MySitch Me-47 STBXW-41 D-5 S-8 ILYBNILWY-01/08 Want a D- 01/09 Physical Sep-01/10 D filed-06/10 Got 50% custody=09/11 Ride that wave!
Wow, that couldn't have been further from the truth. In reality I'm the one that ALWAYS takes time from work to take them to the doctors and stay home with D4 when she can't go to daycare. I didn't call her out on that one, but I will when we speak.
Just wanted to give you guys an idea of where her mind is at. This talk is going to be so much fun. She hasn't been mean at all, I've just been pickingup on her little comments and making a mental note.
I'm well versed in WAS speak. Get used to it. Call her on it if you want to, but don't make it a steady diet. If you call her on all of it, you'll be doing nothing all day but that. It will certainly push her away.
My W did EVERYTHING and I did nothing but sit on the couch...lol. I never sat on the couch except with her to watch a movie or play with my kids. And I was only there about 10% of the time..oh i could spend hours on the rewritten stuff.
MySitch Me-47 STBXW-41 D-5 S-8 ILYBNILWY-01/08 Want a D- 01/09 Physical Sep-01/10 D filed-06/10 Got 50% custody=09/11 Ride that wave!
I knew it wouldn't be a good idea to leave DR laying around, but it sure would be nice if she could read the first few chapters.
I'm not putting any hope into these conversations. I'm just telling you guys that she's come up with an excuse to call me for the past three days. Legitimate yes, but not something she would usually go out of her way to call me for.
She probably doesn't even realize she said that about watching the kids, but I certainly picked up on it.This is nothing other than she's communicating with me, where that hadn't been occuring previuosly.
You guys need to stay up 24/7 so I have you guys when I need you....lol. Seriously though I post something before I go to bed (daytime in the states), and I wake up hoping to find a reply. That's cool, I just get lonely.......kidding
Married 18 Me 39 W 37 D 15 D 5 Divorce Filed 8 April 2010 Beginning of Reconcile 8 Sept
