Well, in jacT's case she threw her H out. From what she has posted it seems that her H said he never had any intention of leaving her for OW and that he was trying to finish it with OW. However, she didn't know that at the time and in her hurt/anger she threw him out. Contact has been limited since then. SO, if she wants him back, and he wants to go back......seeing as he sounds unhappy etc, how is he to know that she still wants him?
A safe path home I guess is a way they can come home without having it all thrown in their face. So the WAS doesn't expect a chair to hit them in the head when they walk in the door....or friends and family to turn their backs if they reappear. A way to say to them, I am not judging you at this juncture.....I just want to work things out with you.
Don't get me wrong, that doesn't mean they come back and it's forgotten and not sorted. It means, come back, you are loved and wanted, lets work on this and see what happens. Just no nose rubbing and name calling etc.
It doesn't mean the LBS rolls over and acts like a door mat in any way. They are being strong, and once the WAS feels safe enough back at home issues will need to be discussed and resolved and learnt from. You can never just push this stuff back under the rug as the reasons for it happening in the first place will cause it to re-ocurr otherwise.....but sometimes.....especially in transitional crisis situations, some patience may be required.
Do you understand what I am saying piano? Is that any clearer?
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
