Need a Plan for My Marriage

[LSG]

Hi Everyone,

I have only thoughts about this job at the moment, but I am worried that out of desparation I will blow it. I need this so bad for me and the kids. If it helps my M great, but this is for me. I am worried that I will take the interview personal or do anything it takes for them to hire me. I know I am capable of doing this job in my sleep and still have time for a nap. I just need to be prepared for D at all time. I know it sounds like I am whining. I just know so much is at stake in my life and my kids. It is funny to me to leave her out of the future I see more and more even all I want is her in my future, but she cannot have me an affair too. Something needs to give, and it may be me. I do want the kids with me and that matters more at the moment than anything. She has not been there for them the way I always have been and will be. I don't want to cut her out, but I want them to have a parent that will never think twice about putting someone else before them. I am going on and on, but I feel happy and worried at the same time because I don't remember wanting something so bad in the longest time. The job is not that great, but it will help me for my life. This is about me.

I do not want to go all crazy at the telling them to hire me because I need this so bad, and I can do it too. I not want to be reserved either. I wish they knew how bad I need this job. I can do it too.

Just letting out some of thoughts to gain perspective.

Enough for me tonight!