Hope all goes well with f-ing Passover. Take care hon
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
Well it was weird. H's family is loud an obnoxious - what do you espect for NJ Jews...I started feeling more and more left out. I eventually just disappeared to the back room ... H actually came and found me and asked what was wrong - I said "remember how you felt at Thanksgiving? (we were w my family and H felt left out...) that is how I feel now." H said "awwww" and hugged me! Touched my back later too and kept checking in on me. It was too nice. Made me miss him more. I came back out for the rest and now I'm hiding in the back again. Now that H and I are alone, who knows what I'll get Jeckyl or Hyde. Wish I could have more of that affection!
<sigh> The roller coaster ride continues...he is sending such mixed signals. I hope you can have some space from him soon.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
This sounds like it's going okay. H is being nicer TWICE this week. Do not lose sight of that. I don't remember a week when you have had shows of affection twice in the recent past. You're getting tired. I hope you get a break this week.
Didn't mean to sound negative...I agree with rr that this seems like more progress. But I feel for you because I know that the positive signs just leave you wanting more.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
Thanks friends - what would I do without you? Here's the kicker - I just thought I'd get space right? I looked at my rehearsal calender and I have a week off! That means home with H and S. And because his behavior is sooooo erratic, I am going to be here to protect S!!!
Still going to talk to the L on Wednesday.
It's so up and down I"m totally confused. Ditching his day with S yesterday (did I mention that?!) and then a hug tonight? First volunteer hug in a YEAR?!?!
Maybe this is what it looks like when the wall comes down. Scary and freaking one day. Nice the next. Maybe when the wall comes down it is the ultimate week of testing. I'm not sure. Seems possible.
