((((Aver))))
So you are buying the house from X. I know you feel badly (though you shouldn't) but you've made a smart decision for you, b/c you have that asset. And you went with what your heart told you. Remember you can always sell it or rent it out.

THe dividing stuff up. Sister I am so with you there. I don't have cheery words on that b/c that is the thing I am dealing w right now. But if it helps know that I'm here a few states west in our parallel universe, and going through the same thing. It sucks, but we will get through it. We will, I promise you.

RE: The MIL, I'm sorry but what is wrong with her?? In no way is any of that of relevance to you (if it is true). It's insensitive. Why on earth would she email you that? Does she has some kind of grudge against you? Could she have been telling you stuff purposely knowing it would upset you? I don't mean to make accusations but, that's what it sounds like to me.

I believe this is a boundary issue, and I think she has inappropriately crossed yours.

Aver, I have to say either delete her emails or if you think it will work, reply to her something like, I hope we can still be friends but I'd prefer not to hear about X and what he's doing - I'm sure you understand. Or something.

The experts on here will chime in with better advice. See Coach's thread on Boundaries in Newcomers, as I am certainly no expert. Good info there.

I think it is harmful for you to be thinking so much about X & what he is or isnt' doing. I know, I know. The pot calling the kettle black! I know this b/c I see myself do it too.

And I hate to see you hurting like this. You left some good questions on my thread about GALing, i.e. what am I doing for me? Well now I ask you the same thing.

Why is it we see in others what we don't see in ourselves?

And why is it we don't do the things that will help us when we need it the most? I guess that what friends are for.

Aver, I know this sucks. I know you are hurting badly right now. I wish I could take it away but we have to walk through the fire. Remember you are not just a half of X. You are a whole person, an awesome person in your own right. You are better than this crappy sitch not of your making. That's why. Please hang in there. (((((Aver)))))

Last edited by LookingFrAnswers; 03/30/10 04:53 AM.