do get yourself a copy of DR... i read both, and although it is really hard when you (like i) are not living with your H, but it does offer good tips and advice and stregnth.
I was served D papers and i must admit, that in an angry conversation, before i read DR and DB of course, I told my WAS to file for a divorce if he was so adament about not loving me anymore... i was so angry one day i sent him the address of where to go... when he did file, 3 weeks ago, he said he thought i wanted it too... evern though i cried and pleaded him not to file... and that i said it out of anger. but i wish i never mentioned it or brought it up. i am not making excuses for him and know that he probably would have filed regardless, but please... please please please do not mention divorce or talk about papers, etc. unless you are 100% ready to go forward with it. you can not take the words back, and it doesnt make them want to run back to you. in fact it does the opposite and basically makes them think you condone what they say and are on the same page.
His confusion is a great sign... i would think. the fact that he has a teeny tiny doubt that he could be doing the wrong thing shows that he is not certain that a D is what he wants too.
My C gave me a great peice of advice... which i believe you already started doing, from what i read above... tell him you are 100% dedicated and focused on your pregnancy and the welfare of your baby... and that you are not going to think about D until you are emotionally (and hormonally for us PG women) stable to make those decisions. i understand why you would want the separationc contract. funny bc i was served w papers and when i told my WAH last week i was not signing the papers he became calmer, less confrontational, and understood my reasons for not signing. i think i looked into it a little too much and thought maybe, just maybe, he finally realized this is not what i really want! as a matter of fact, he asked why i brought it up in an argument if it wasnt what i wanted. we had a few days of civil conversation...im sure you read on my thread... and now i need to back off from him...
but what i guess im saying is to just take care of yourself... i originally believed that if he filed it meant he really wanted out... and even with papers in my hands i am not convinced... im stupid i guess and naive and hopeful... but truth is we never know. but dont rush into it...
you are pro-marriage... and do believe... that is what this site is all about!
stay strong!!!!! Take care of yourself and that baby!
