Hello DB family just thought I'd stop by and give an update. I really wanna focus on the advice that Allen A gave to me about when contacting my husband and the importance of NOT making light conversation, etc
Well, when I contacted my husband I took Allen's advice and I was serioius. I told him how much I wanted marriage and how much I wanted to be married to him. I explained how divorce are for people who give up and I felt like our marriage was worth fighting for. I reiterated the changes I made in reference to the OM and that I am willing to give a 30 day notice to move so that he would feel comfortable coming to visit me when he returned home.
Long story short my husband told me NOT to move on his account or for our marriage and to stay in my apartment. He also went on to say he would be moving back home in a few days, etc and then rushed me off the phone because he was at work. I understood so I texted him and asked him when would be a good time to finish our conversation...He NEVER responded. I even called him again and left another vm and he NEVER responded so I waited a few days and called him that weekend only for him to further avoid me. I finally got him on the phone and asked him what happened and that I really wanted to finish talking with him.
He said that he had been busy etc and then rushed me off the phone and HUNG up in my face. I was utterly devastated and lost for words.
A few days later we had a earthquake at 4:30 in the morning and I immediately thought about him and if he was okay even though I was still hurt and confused by the way he'd been treating me. Nevertheless, I called him and he answered. I asked him was he okay and he said YES and then he IMMEDIATELY went into apology mode from hanging up on me. He said that he was in Las Vegas hanging out with his family and that he wanted to say that he was sorry for hanging up on me and that he had been thinking about me a lot and he just wanted to say sorry.
I said ok....and I wished him a good day. That was on 3/16. Please keep in mind he officially moved back to LA on 3/15 and still has not reached out to me to say anything. Today is his birthday and I texted him Happy B-day and he actually responded back and said thank u! Nothing more.
Per Allen A, I really feel tested. I do love him and am hanging in there but it is a huge slap in the face that he hasn't bothered to reach out to me. Part of me feels like maybe our marriage was over before the A and it is easier for him to hide behind the A instead of just saying, I DON'T want to be with you anymore.
He never even wanted to return my call or responded to any of my texts to continue our conversation about our marriage. He's also shared with mutual friends that he's moved on with his life and that he was hurt by some things (the OM), etc.
That being said the OM has resorted to writing letters to me and asking to see me, saying he misses me, he's willing to wait for me, etc. Although I want nothing more than my marriage to work sometimes I feel like maybe I should've just worked things out with the OM since my husband clearly either has moved on or could care less about me.
I am remaining strong and have a great faith but as of now it is what it is.
