At a point not sure what to do – perhaps I need to find another partner on the side. I am a husband with a high drive married to a wife with no drive. Some background – both are 50 yo, married for 30 yrs. We have 3 adult children and are raising a year old grand daughter – this might be a part of problem.
My wife had gone into low sex drive periods when the kids were young and here we go again. There are strong indications of a EA and possible PA on her part 5-6 yrs ago. We went through high frequency (2X week) period 2007 – last March after a long drought of no sex in 2005 and 2006.
Since last March, going once every 4 months and absolutely no initiation on her part. As of 2010 – nothing.
I have tried everything that I can think of – even buy a bouquet of flowers when I take the grand child for shopping on the weekends – this is not new actually. Date nights every Friday or Saturday. I help around the house – she works a part time job about 2 days per week.
She has gain some weight since menopause but is not overly overweight. I hint at my frustration but now just don’t mention it. I am sure she is happy I don’t mention it anymore. What I don’t get – is that her desire goes up and down year from year. I may be 50 but not ready to stop sex because I am too old. That’s not the case – no drugs are needed and the lack of sex is incredibly frustrating and even painful. I am not into self-help, doesn’t do anything for me – I like to have a warm body next to me and some affection. Not sure if she just doesn’t care for me anymore or I don’t satisfy her. I am at a point that I wont turn it down if offered.
Sorry for the disjointed sentences - just frustrated and pissed off about this subject. Guys are supposed to just take it but what would happen I decided I didn't feel like going to work and quit the job.
Any ideas or some pointers to jump start me - not sure how I can maintain patience - just don't want to go through 2005-06 again - not sure I can handle two yrs.
