Husband left me 3 months pregnant...

[gatsby11]

You guys rock! Nothing like an evening with "Cake Boss" (a mildly entertaining TV show about cake) and reading posts on this website.

You know what's comforting is how similar so many people's stories are. How these WASes say that they haven't been happy for "years," misery is now over, whatever. It's comforting because since they're following a pattern, their behaviors become compartmentalized, sterile, somehow depersonalized. I like going over to the MLC posts because it seems to fit.

"well of course he's not miserable - he's pushed his problem aside, living with mum and dad, living the single life --- yeah it's easy for him thesedays!!" EXACTLY! Just know, his crash is ahead. (I can't figure out how to copy. . . makes me a little nervous!)

I totally know what you mean, Piano, about a death. That's what it's like. Except, as his grandmother told me, it's worse! (She had a husband die when they were in their 30s and she told me that, sorry, my sitch was much worse than hers. Wow!) But that's also comforting. The person that we married is just NOT THERE right now. Being dark is kind of easy for me because I really do not like the "new" person. He's no one I would ever be attracted to. He is weakness in human form, really. I am willing to wait for him to strengthen and be better than the person I married. We'll see if it happens.

Interesting advice, Piano, from the DB coach about the birth. I like it. I also don't think I could have my WH in the room. First of all, I think that more of his neuroses would be triggered and he would just have to have more therapy with the sight of the birth. (I really think that!) But also, I feel a peace with knowing that he won't be there. I think I'll be more calm.

6 months is a lot, Piano, but my expectations for this type of thing are at 12 months. So you're barely halfway! I figure if it's longer than 12 months, by that time I won't care as much.

Babydoll, I'm looking forward to reading further posts of yours. It can only go up from here.

Now that I've spent so much time watching cake, frosting, and chocolate, I'd better go raid the 'fridge. Yum!