It never occurred to me that the session would "highlight our differences"... i knew it would be incrdibly hard, which is partially why I am avoiding it. H is more interested in going to co-parenting Counseling than I am. it scares me bc he probably wants me to understand that he will be a father in his own way than what i expect... so would you say it was useless?
Well that was my experience and could be pinned on the (lack) of experience of the therapist. I was scared of the same thing, and it's exactly what happened. I was so shocked by H's stance on Fatherhood..so so so shocked at how selfish and remedial it seemed to my ears. But you know, your H sounds like he has more CLUES and shares the same values as YOU. So NO, i wouldn't say it's going to be useless.. only doing it will tell...and if you have checked out the therapist beforehand good. if not, do that. I will never put my marriage in the hands of another 3rd party again without be very very sure about them.
I also think my H needs more counselling about parenting on his own to achieve some REALISM before I enter the frey again.
Originally Posted By: Babydoll
I understand how your H believes that being a father is much different than what you expect from him. H and I, probably like you and your H, dreamt of having a baby for so long, and created so many ideas and dreams of how we would raise our babies... and now he is doing the complete opposite.
Our experiences are different here. H and I never discussed how we would bring up kids. I think wasn't very interested in kids for most of my life, and we never really discussed properly what we imagined/wanted etc. I guess we should have. I just thought we'd figure it out along the way, through discussion, etc..like one of life's adventures.
But, like your H, mine uses examples from all around us (mostly my own family sitch - was child of "sucessful" divorce and we're all very close now) in which the non-nuclear family model works just fine. He doesn't realise the WORK and extra SACRIFICE to get to that happy place.
