Well..don't look to me for long term success on keeping a M together. My W came back that first night all tears and apologies. 5 months later, she moved out and hasn't come back.
But I stood my ground on principle and I couldn't control her anyway. The mistake that I might have made was not doing the right things to change me. It might not have mattered; but it certainly wouldn't have hurt. Because of my W's personality; my changes probably wouldn't have had much effect.
I found DB about 2 months before she moved out; but it didn't keep her home. DB did wonders for me personally.
I've tried DB'ing after she moved out; but she was never around. Too busy living the single life and working on finding her next man. See my W had an A 5 months prior to separation. I successfully busted that A; but she went an infidelity spree looking for her next man. When she finally found one that she could charm; she stuck with him. He came around after we separated and didn't know that she was still married.
About the time the W started to come back around; sniffing to see if the road home was open, she came up pregnant.
Here we are one year later; just about to submit our settlement paperwork.
KEEP THIS IN MIND...don't read into my sitch as evidence your plan won't work. My wife is a special breed and not typical of most WAS who leave for another person. She left and didn't have an OM; my W used sex to coerce someone into a R She was just living single and anyone would do at the moment.
So I still believe that I made the right move in giving her that ultimatum. She has to be responsible for her own choices; but I don't have to underwrite and finance them. She chose to live that life under a different roof or roofs. I got the chance to detach. What I really needed was a debriefing...
