OK- I am HD- prob is I wasnt romantic for W...I was turned down so many times, I stonewalled, and waited for W to make advances on me...by the time I had truly checked out, I had established an EA- I was always dead set against D.
I was turned down so much, despite W telling me "you need to be more romantic" that I in no way had romantic feelings for her...it was very toxic.
Anyway...if you read my sitch- basically, my W was craving romance, she met a guy, and one day dropped the bomb- I SNAPPED right out of my FOG- BTW, the EA crumbled...
W had done the same thing as well...offered more sex, etc...I was just else where mentally.
Since the bomb I've been in hot pursuit.
Point is, there may come a time when you have to create the sense of loss for H.
I agree about learning of his LL's, W and I when she was fake piecing, expressed her LL's to me- I NEVER KNEW- acts of service (errands, washing car, etc), and PT...mine were PT and words of affirmation...
Do everything you can, don't give up, but don't make yourself too easy...
