Like a Handprint on my Heart...

[Ready2Change]

...AND.. my daughter had friends over. I was amazed (and amused) that she was such a good hostess.. feeding snacks and dinner and entertaining all on her own. When it's just us, I'm the one who's called on to serve.

You are her role model.....HUGS

[smith18]

Awesome stuff Kathleen! I think you should have seconds on the pasta (guy).

[Ready2Change]

Awesome stuff Kathleen! I think you should have seconds on the pasta (guy).

If you don't eat the pasta, is it ok to lick the sauce?

[Gypsy]

Ms Imp, Watusi and Kerry..

How did I get so lucky? And I'll never be able to mangia pasta without being distracted again.

My oldest son (24 years) and I went out to dinner tonight and were having a fine time. I'd previously mentioned the possibility of him paying rent while living at home. I brought it up. The mood at the table changed. When I suggested an amount lower than he paid in college (which didn't include the addition utilities, food, etc. expenses) he said that he'd move out before paying anything.

I blinked, astounded. He'd rather have six times the expenses and have his own freedom. He's talked of living home for only a short period so he could move out, have his own place and space. I struggled to get over the f*ck you, sense of rejection feeling I got from such a dramatic statement.

He said he'd been doing a spreadsheet, trying to plan it out. That me feeling rejected wasn't his intent. I sat back, relaxed (well it took about 15 minutes of me sorting it out), mentioned a few basics... like having at least a three month cushion, planning for paying his college loans, etc.

Now I feel okay. It's something he's been planning. It's nothing personal. And I think I will ask for a token amount until he moves out, just to keep it real. I do tend to cave like a marshmallow on hot pavement right before an elephant steps on it.

I might have the beginnings of my harhim. Pasta Guy who punched me hello in the arm when he came in on closing night with all the food. (I'm taking that as a joyful acknowledgement of unexpectedly seeing me). Weekly half hour chitchats at the coffeehouse with someone I've known on the periphery for years. And the guy I impulsively hugged because I didn't realize how much I'd missed seeing him. Close your eyes, Kalni.... babysteps!

*hugs*

[FLTC]

Gypsy,

I've NEVER logged on and saw you on the 2nd page of this thread. Of course you know that means?..... Personal growth.

I remember when you and I posted about the word "DIVORCE" striking fear and paralysis into both of our hearts. How far we have both come.

I have the same f&ck you attitude toward D19. I gave her 10K of blood money by transferring my Iraqi Freedom GI Bill to her. She promptly got Ds and Fs at UCONN. Don't take it personally. It's not about you.

S24 is spreading his independence wings........it's healty, but annoying as shi&! Let him go...if he makes it good for him. If not........you won't have to say I told you so....it will be written all over him when he asks to move home. Bottom line: You want him independent.

It looks like you have a new found interest in MEN! Good for you! They seem to be noticing you too! 70 degrees this weekend. Get out and walk. Get an iPod and load it with your favorite tunes!

Introduce those endorphins into your bloodstream. Make it a habit! As your excess pounds go down, your self confidence aill go up...guarenteeeeeed. You don't have to run or bench press 400 pounds. Just walk.

Take care. Your progress is sooooooooooooo noticeable!

THERE'S STRONG AND THEN THERE'S GYPSY STRONG!

[Gypsy]

Want to remember this..

Hey Smile Guy..

Done-er.. eh?

Done is letting go, not going back for the last word.

Done is not telling the other who they are, how they should feel.

Done is not telling the other how you feel about them.

Done is "Hello", "Good bye"

Done is walking the walk, not dancing in minefields.

Done is not allowing inappropriate topics.

Done is civil.

Done is a reasoned response, not emotional.

Done is "I don't regret the time spent together, wish it could have worked. We're all moving forward."

Done is looking at the BIG picture.

Done is when the divorcing/former spouse's drama is no longer yours.

Done is letting go of the emotional hurt, the need to attack.

Done is leaving the bullshit behind.

You're a distinct individual, opinionated, intelligent, super dad.

Lock the door. Move forward. The less you think for her, the more you can live your life.

Or perhaps all of the above is "well done."

*hugs*

[Gypsy]

Gotta love you FL... you really make me smile. I walk around with a strut hearing your line... "There's strong, then there's Gypsy strong!" It's amazing how uplifting that is!

I realize I'm turning corners... seeing things in the relationship I'd never realized.. and am wary about how insidious it is to subtly rewrite history.

I felt my son had the f&ck you attitude toward me when I asked for nominal rent. Seeing it as a step toward his independence is great. Helps keep my "can I ice your booboo hand that got hurt walloping me" martyrdom at bay. I have go get over people I cherish being angry at me.

I have been walking with a friend again and it is wonderful.

It's funny... or maybe it's just getting to the point where I'm starting to see what my life is.

Have to call out "Mush!" rather than live it.

*hugs*

[Gardener]

Gypsy,

Want to remember this..

Hey Smile Guy..

Done-er.. eh?

Done is letting go, not going back for the last word.

Done is not telling the other who they are, how they should feel.

Done is not telling the other how you feel about them.

Done is "Hello", "Good bye"

Done is walking the walk, not dancing in minefields.

Done is not allowing inappropriate topics.

Done is civil.

Done is a reasoned response, not emotional.

Done is "I don't regret the time spent together, wish it could have worked. We're all moving forward."

Done is looking at the BIG picture.

Done is when the divorcing/former spouse's drama is no longer yours.

Done is letting go of the emotional hurt, the need to attack.

Done is leaving the bullshit behind.

You're a distinct individual, opinionated, intelligent, super dad.

Lock the door. Move forward. The less you think for her, the more you can live your life.

Or perhaps all of the above is "well done."

*hugs*

This is wonderful. Dead on. A new addition to my "Gypsy Gems" file.
And after reading these and agreeing with them all, could it be.....I'm done?

[Gypsy]

Hmm..

Isolating
Mourning the loss of my family
Regressing
Getting lost
Unhealthy habits
Stressed, getting ill

Stopped volunteering and doing Reiki
Stopped doing choir
Missed two out of three Writer's Group meetings

Meds increased.
Assigned to write a journal describing what I want my life to be.
Due Wednesday

Need job, not only for money but to stop isolating
To be around people
Let what is compassionate, caring and fun come out

Stop being alone.

*hugs*

Although I've been accomplishing great things, it's always in isolation

[smith18]

Isolation...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UPjncaIv8R4

Every long journey starts with a single step.

Dont let depression consume you.

Get out and be with people.

Take some golf clinics.