I think this is a huge problem that you are not addressing. Other than this issue....you are doing incredible. I understand how the two can get intertwined and the pitfalls that arise when this is done in a good marriage.
I know that you would like to save your marriage....but right now that marriage is dead. Your husband wants to continue the business side of the marriage and toss the rest while he see's the OW....so once again the marriage is dead. Yet you both are continuing on like everything business wise is normal except the OW......I don't see that as normal.
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My plan is to sell the house and payoff all the debts, personal and business.
because
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it's doing really badly thanks to him flaking out in the past year
Hmmm....so I can get this straight...You are selling the house to pay bad business debt caused by a business partner not getting it done? Would you do that if he wasn't your husband?
Say you sell the house and his behavior continues....You are out a house, out a business, and in need of a job.
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Then I'm hoping we can agree on salaries and support and go from there
I am just being MLC realistic here.....once all the debt is paid, do you really think you will be able to agree on salaries? If he continues with his behavior (could be years) the debt snowball will start rolling again. It seems that he travels a lot...on COMPANY cash and has limited revenue production. Is he creating revenue producing work? Work that can be invoiced with no revenue as agreed to as part of a service package contract? From what you have explained....he should be invoicing productive work for about 30 hours per week.....Does he do that?
Mila-I have been on this board for a good period of time. I have seen a few that had a family business of some sorts. The truth though...you are the first I have seen were both spouses are so involved in the one business. That makes your situation rather special. It is almost like there is two DB worlds for you...the marriage side and running a profitable business side. You may have to sell the house....but could that be like selling a car because it shakes a little when all that needed fixing was a lug nut tightening?
