Husband left me 3 months pregnant...

[Piano]

The DB coach (btw, a mother and a grandmother) felt having him at the birth would be inappropriate. She said the birth day is about ME, not WAH. I should only make choices on MY needs on that day. She said tell him to come along on Day 2 to meet the baby... tell him "I will be very busy that day, why don't you come the following day when we are rested". She's very wry and funny! But I hope you get the gist of what she is saying...
anyway, every sitch is different, right?

Don't pray for miracles... work on yourself, take the distance, GAL. When you reach a calm space, come up with a plan and stick to it. As they say around here, DO WHAT WORKS, NOT WHAT FEELS RIGHT. Emotions are a bad compass.

You're doing great.. come here and rant and rave..don't go to him.


My classes were pretty much all finished by the time I got coaching.. I think she would have said TIMING is all important.. that means STAGE 1: LET THE DUST SETTLE. In practical terms, if you can't handle any situation you go into with grace and integrity and strenght, don't do it. I invited H for one class, and it may have been good for WH but was not great for me. I didn't behave like the "shining beacon that will draw him back to me".

If you can afford it, the DB coaching does help, because it's tailor made to your sitch. It's the best counseling I have had.

"the hardest part for me is that i feel like i have a ticking clock, and i wish we could make sense of this madness before the baby comes... i realize now that may not be the case." yes, i felt/feel the same, but I realised that it is all about the TIMING and it can't be rushed, so you're right not to expect him to switch BEFORE the baby comes... Anyways, men don't often connect with pregnancies...that old saying "Women become mothers when they get pregnant, men become fathers after the birth".